Forgive … from deep within
Let your forgiveness be as deep-rooted as the hurt you feel
We hope our last blog on forgiveness brought you some form of solace, as hopefully… you let go of a few grudges. We hope you experienced the peace and freedom it should have brought.
If not, then it means the grudge you hold is more deep-seated, and might require more introspection. Allow us to explain the various reasons why forgiveness is vital. As you unpack your emotions, and truly understand why it’s important to forgive… you will gradually arrive at that place in your heart from where forgiveness becomes easier and possibly the most natural thing to do.
Unravelling the nuances of forgiveness and how it affects us
- First try and understand the futility and irrationality of nursing grudges and non-forgiveness. Be aware of the negativity and harm that it causes you. If you find yourself constantly thinking of this person or situation that has upset you, obviously it’s keeping your thoughts away from more fruitful and productive ones. The sense of hurt simmering inside is stressful for you both mentally and physically, even altering body’s physical Chemistry
- Learn to differentiate between inner forgiveness and outer forgiveness. Some crimes have to be punished for the sake of justice and order in society; but let the punishment be guided by a sense of duty towards what is right, rather than emanating from a sense of vengeance.
- Do not react… respond instead. Punishment, anger, revenge are reactions that breed negativity within ourselves, the other person and the world at large. Response can happen when you have a deep understanding of the Law of Karma, which helps you behave in a way that doesn’t seek to punish, hurt or bring sorrow to the other person.
- Forgiveness does not mean being submissive and allowing the other person to get the better of you. Forgive … and then keep your distance if you feel the person is likely to hurt you again.
- If it is a family member and keeping a distance is not an option, think of the person as a source for you to grow and evolve. Sandpaper is painful but the object it rubs against eventually shines. Having said that, it is still important to protect yourself from abusive relationships — particularly physical — and bring it to the attention of your family or authorities.
- When forgiving keep in mind that we are all evolving souls born in the human form with a certain purpose. Evolution involves time, process and lots of mistakes. Just as you have learned from your share of mistakes so will they; only each soul has its own learning curve. You just need to forgive and bless.
The following prayer is by Master Choa Kok Sui of the Pranic Healing School. We recommend that it be said at least 7 times for 7 days for each person and each hurt that you can recall.
I salute the divinity within you, I salute the Atma within you.
We are all children of God, We are all created by him,
We are all evolving and bound to make mistakes,
I forgive all the mistakes you have made against me,
And I ask for forgiveness for all the mistakes that I have made against you.
You are completely forgiven and the hurt is forgotten.
May God’s blessings be with you and with me.
May you go in peace.
As you say the forgiveness prayer, try and feel compassion and love for the person you are saying it for. Bless the person with peace, love, spiritual transformation and inner healing.
If, even after this, your mind keeps replaying this person’s hurtful actions or words, and you find feelings of anger welling up within you, repeat the same prayer and keep doing so until they cease to be in your thoughts.
Jesus Christ on the cross, said: “Oh Lord, forgive them for they know not what they do!” Understand the significance of his words. He does not say, “I forgive”,but he asks the Lord to forgive. Jesus had already forgiven but he was afraid that God through his law of Karma might punish them. This great state of forgiveness runs through the lives of all great Prophets and Mahatamas.
So understand that though the Law of Karma eventually does take its own course, when we are forgiving it should not be with the superficial intent of doing so because we have been told that it is in our benefit. All the while, inside one might be secretly hoping and waiting for God to somehow avenge the person who has hurt us. Inner forgiveness is to truly forgive with love and compassion.
– Lalitha Viswanath
(edited by Maria Kallukaren)